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Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts

Saturday, 16 September 2017

#LOVE:::How to Succeed in a Relationship with the Perfect Girl


Image result for how to succeed in a relationship with the perfect girl
1. Ta
lk.
Communication is key. If you are afraid to talk to the girl that you’re dating, or if you’d rather do something else, you need to set some priorities. Ask her how her day was. You want her to listen to you, so you should listen to her–conversation is a two way street.
2 People love talking about themselves.
Ask her about her dreams and hopes. It will make her feel like you care about her.
Always ask her about school and her day as well.
3 Try to avoid asking lots of questions about where she’s been and what she was doing.
If they say “Be right back, I gotta go do something”, it’s usually best not to ask what she were doing, as it can make a girl feel annoyed.
4 Think before you speak!
Try to keep things very very positive. If she’s complaining about life, don’t agree. Tell her she rocks and support her.
5 Compliments are excellent, but know that you should stop at the point where you’re just listening to yourself talk.
Girls know when you’re sincere and when you’re just blowing hot air. But, compliments never hurt anyone.
6 Nobody can write the definitive guide on dating.
You need to experiment for yourself! Remember, romance is not always an easy thing.
7 Listen to what she has to say and pay attention.
8 Above all, take care of yourself.
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Sunday, 25 June 2017

Billionaire kidnapper: Evans reveals mistake that led to his arrest

Billionaire kidnapper, Chukwudumeje Onwuamadike, also known as Evans, has blamed failure to follow his instinct for his arrest by the police.
Evans, who had managed to evade arrest for several years, was a few weeks ago apprehended in Magodo by a special unit constituted by the Inspector General of Police in conjunction with operatives of the Lagos State Police Command.Speaking at the Lagos State Police Command Headquarters, Ikeja, where he is being detained said he regretted not leaving the country with his family.
Evans said, “The man, who gave me this information didn’t know that I was the one who the Police were looking for.
“I knew trouble had come. The next news I heard was that the Police had visited the place and my AK47 rifles, pistols and over 40 loaded magazines were recovered by the Police.”I was worried and I called my gang members wanting to know what actually transpired. They all blamed Uche, who was in charge of the den.SEE, EVANS EXPENSIVE MOBILE PHONE $567
”I told them that I was going to deal with him. At that time, my mind started racing and I was trying to think of what to do because I knew that the Police would come after me with force.
”Five days later, I read a story in Vanguard Newspaper that the IGP had deployed, Abba Kyari and his men to Lagos State, to track my boys and I and they have also visited the den, where Mr. Dunu escaped from.
“Some of my men, who got news started panicking, but I assured them that I was on top of the situation and that the police would not get me.
“My Second-in-Command, Felix called me and expressed fears, but I assured him that the Police can’t arrest me and I was also making preparations to kidnap one other person.
‘’When Suoyo, who lives in Beyelsa state, called me and expressed fears, I also assured him that nothing was going to happen.
“I told him I was making plans for another operation and needed him to go into the creeks and buy a new set of arms and ammunition for me.”
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Monday, 19 June 2017

Reekado Banks Finally Settles Beef DJ Xclusive (Photos)

Reekado Banks recently called out DJ Xclusive on Twitter, accusing him of being disrespectful to his craft. According to Reekado, the popular Dj begged him for a feature, only for his verse to be taken out without his consent. 
"No disrespect but you messed up big time bro. How do you beg for a song but take me out without telling me," he tweeted.

While DJ Xclusive didn't respond, it looked like a conversation happened as Reekado banks later took to twitter to apologize. See that after the cut...

The initial tweet below...

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Monday, 12 June 2017

Stay away from my husband, Comedian AY’s wife warns pregnant friend


Mabel, the wife of popular comedian, Ayo Makun, aka AY, has asked a popular Lagos sociailite, Freda Francis, to steer clear of her husband.
Trouble began after the mother of one commented on a post shared by her husband.
The photo, which was a selfie taken by AY and Freda Francis at the socialite’s Push Party in Lagos on Sunday night, attracted many comments.
Mabel wrote, “This is outright wickedness and I won’t take it! I think have had enough of the ridiculing. Freda Francis, stay away from my family and I mean it!”
She went to her page and posted munched chats between her husband and Freda.
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Sunday, 11 June 2017

THE VETERIAN NOLLYWOOD YORUBA ACTOR NEEDS YOUR PRAY AND FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE.

Actor, Yomi Fabiyi has once again said that Veteran Actor, Baba Suwe is going through a deteriorating health following the torture he suffered in the hands of the National Drug Law and Enforcement Agency (NDLEA) in 2011.
Fabiyi has called on Nigerians, to lend a helping to the Actor who he says is traumatized after losing an appeal to receive a compensation fee of N25 million initially granted to him by the Lagos State High Court.
Recall, High Justice Yetunde Idowu ordered the Drug Law Enforcement Agency to pay the actor N25m for detaining him after he was found innocent of the allegations of drug trafficking.
Omidina, who is a widower has been left to suffer undue trauma as a result of the humiliating experiences he went through during the incident.
"​I am calling on all ​senior colleagues in the entertainment world especially those close to Baba Suwe because I don't have everyone's contact to please reach out to him as soon as possible," Fabiyi said in a statement according to the Daily Post News.
"T​he torture done on him by NDLEA is vastly damaging his health at an alarming rate.​ ​​
"He told me he no longer feel comfortable since that episode. Baba Suwe is a widower, he can hardly walk properly as I speak, let alone go to film.
​"​How will he feed and take care of the children aunty Moladun left behind?​ ​​
"This is an A-List Entertainer and this conspiracy of silence gives me ​mental agony on my part, I don't want to speak when it may be too late, I won't forgive myself.
​"​He told me when I visited him that he is innocent of the accusations and yet a ​long pipe was inserted through his anus; he was detained for too long amongst other things just because he was randomly suspected like every normal person.
"​In my opinion, only lazy, ill-trained, unfit and uncivilized officers torture in the name of investigation.

"Torture is criminal and sinful. If this accusation is found to be true by independent investigators, it shouldn't go unpunished.
​"​The court asked NDLEA to pay him 25 million for damages which is yet to be obeyed but to me an ​open apology will placate him and illustrate some dignified and civil approach from a government agency that made him go through all that without coming up with a single proof after that prolonged detention and drama.
"He who assert ​must prove! NDLEA needs to restore public confidence by doing the needful on this matter. And until individuals and government agency begin to respect fundamental ​human right and enhance duty of care, the essence of Nigeria's ​freedom is far from been realistic.
​"​No malice is intended against NDLEA with this outcry, I just hope the leadership see this as a clarion call for getting it right and save the agency from sending an innocent person to an early grave whereby leaving his children to suffer unjustly. My humble take. Thank you. Yomi Fabiyi​", the actor concluded.
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Wednesday, 7 June 2017

SEE??? JAMB Cut Off Mark Should Be 250 For Varsities & 200 For Polytechnics - A Candidate's Opinion






While we wait for JAMB to officially announce the 2017 cut-off mark, many candidates are hoping that what ever it is going to be at the end of the day should be one that favours them.

A candidate that participated in the 2017 JAMB UTME has suggested that JAMB should decide the 2017 official cut off mark as follows;

Universities - 250
Polytechnics - 200

According to him, the reason is that often times many candidates just put in a little effort to reach the 180 mark and then count on "long leg" or "connection" to help them gain admission while candidates that studied quite hard to score 200 and above end up not getting admission even when they have merited such.

Well, that's his opinion. But what this candidate did not put into consideration is that there are candidates that got 200 and above through malpractice and there are others that got 180 by merit.

He also did not consider other factors that influence who gets admission and who doesn't regardless of the JAMB score.

So while we cannot deny the role "connection" or "long leg" plays in admission process in Nigeria, this is certainly not the way to get around it. What do you think?

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Saturday, 3 June 2017

ADVICE ME....WHAT SHOULD I DO????

I am a 21 year old college student who is in desperate need of advice. 

I am on a “break” with my boyfriend because our arguments began to become very heated and physical. About two weeks ago, he literally punched me in the face (mouth to be exact) whilst we were arguing. As I said, we have been together for a year, but a few months ago I started to feel tired of all the arguments and we would literally disagree on everything. I’ve tried to end it in the past, but he manipulates me every time. Now that he has been abusive to me, I don’t want to be in a relationship anymore because his anger scares me sometimes. 

We are now only on a break because he has threatened to commit suicide if I ever leave him. I am worried about him because he needs help and he said he doesn’t. I am also worried for the safety of myself. He apologizes and cries almost every day, and this just makes me feel as though I am hurting him more and more. I have made up my mind that I do not want to have him in my life anymore, but I am only on this ‘”break” with him because I am afraid that he does something stupid and it will be all my fault. I have no clue how to end it or what to do about all of this. I am just very tired of all of this. 

On another note, I met some about a month ago and we talk very often, and it is obvious that we like each other. He shows me that he likes me a lot by the things he does and says, but I am worried because he is about 8 years older than me and he does have more experience than me. I don’t want to move too fast either, but what can I do to see if he really does like me or if it is just a plan to get into my pants? 
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